Twilight Pink (1981)

"Twilight Pink" is a lusty mix of enchanting movie making - it's funny, it's a well-done parody (of the old TV series, "Twilight Zone") and it's got a galaxy's worth of wall-to-wall sex.

Starring: Kandi Barbour, Veronica Hart, Tiffany Clark, Annie Sprinkle, R. Bolla

The film starts with actor Sterling Rod doing a phenomenal take-off on the pseudo-poetic, profoundly prophetic, deep-voiced musings of Rod Serling. "Mankind," he announces, "is more than mere animals rutting..."

What follows, however, is the ruttingest, shtuppingest, cummiest, suckiest action you've ever seen! And a lot of it is set in some of the most unusual sex film locations of the year.

Basically, it's the story of a nebbish, a schmo, a loser, a ... dipshit named Ferdinand (played by R. Bolla.) Ferdinand works in the think tank at the Wheat-Os, a breakfast cereal firm. His job is to think of toys to stick in the box. Most of the time he is thinking of sticking something else into the box of his boss, (Veronica Hart - and you've never seen her looking better) or her secretary (Kandi Barbour - at her raunchy best!)

Ferdy is such a loser that he comes up with a prune-making kit for kids. This, of course, eventually gets him shit-canned from his job.



As his ambitious, if heavily hinge-heeled boss, Veronica Hart is glamorous and believable. This is obviously one of her first films and she exudes an energy and enthusiasm for the sex scenes, which is powerfully enhanced by her ripping good looks.

In order, Hart seduces her male account exec, blows her fat and undesirable boss (on his orders and while he, bored and fully clothed, stares blankly at his pocket watch) and gets involved with Ferdy's replacement, the gorgeous Tiffany Clark.

As Flora Blossom, ever-adorable Kandi Barbour is her snippy, snatchy best. According to the script, Flora has a "head that belongs in a cracker jack box, and an ass that belongs in the Louvre." She also fucks just about everything that walks. Everything that is, except the hapless Ferdy.

Despite the heavy and complex plot, there's a fuck scene just about every three seconds in this fornication-filled scene. In fact, Hart must have lapped up two buckets of cum in the course of the action.

At this point, the plot takes an odd twist, a true "Twilight Zone" happening. Ferdy goes to visit an old friend, who is dying. On his deathbed, the man gives Ferdy a stopwatch with magical qualities: it can halt the flow of time, thus permitting the owner to step into frozen situations and enjoy any woman he wants in any possible sexual way.

To demonstrate how the enchanted ticker works, the old man (played by Jake Teague) and Ferdy proceed to gang-violate Teague's lovely French maid, played by Christy Ford.

Ferdy still doesn't really believe in the timepiece and, while on the way home, is abused and humiliated by a street tough and huge-bosomed woman, played by that most logical of choices, Annie Sprinkle.

What follows is undoubtedly the most unusual sex scene of the year and possibly any year, a true triumph of adult film making and (I hope) special effects.

What makes the sequence so special is that it was apparently shot outdoors amid large crowds of people on a city street.

Ferdy, hurt and rejected, stops time for the first time. He then orders Annie and the wise guy who picked on him to fuck each other. They proceed to pound away, suck away, and fuck away with amazing vigor. Finally, Annie gets on her knees *they're both totally naked by now) and gives the boy head in a  phone booth.

At this point, Ferdy hits the stopwatch and starts time again. Annie is so busy sucking cock and the boy is so caught up in the blowjob, they do not realize they are surrounded by a large group of onlookers. A cop arrives and arrests them for public indecency and Ferdy has his revenge!

I still do not know how they filmed such a gamey scene in a busy city street!

Ferdy's second round of revenge is taken out on the lovely little Kandi Barbour. If you've ever wanted to really humiliate this cute and unattainable little sweetheart, this scene is for you! Ferdy drags her off to a local S&M club, where she is tied up, tortured, tormented, given an enema, gangbanged in front of an audience and beaten. To put the kicker on it, the whole mess is videotaped for television by a sex show called "Screw at Midnight." When the show finally airs, Kandi is summarily fired.

She ends up getting a job as Ferdy's secretary - and sex slave!

Ferdy also gets part of his revenge on Veronica Hart and Tiffany Clark, but the watch breaks midway through the sex acts and they are frozen forever in the twilight zone.

There must be a couple of dozen very hot love scenes in this film, and more cum than you can shake a stick at, and a lot of very special special effects. Sterling Rod is truly terrific in his parody of Rod Serling and the rest of the players are hysterically funny in their portrayals of hot and horny merchandising hucksters. Twilight Pink is a truly diverting movie.

OCTOBER 1981