Starring: Leslie Bovee, John Leslie, Kandi Barbour, Bonnie Holliday, Sharon Kane, Blair Harris, Kay Parker - Screenplay by John Hayes - Produced and Directed By Chris Warfield
Chris Warfield's CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST bubbles with good humor and effervescent sex. As Champagne, a lady exec with a licentious turn, Leslie Bovee goes right to your head. The way she sips semen like it was Dom Perignon could a man pop his cork just watching.
This smoothly-crafted movie has more good laughs than a presidential inauguration, and the performances are more believable. The plot isn't always plausible, but the premise is. A top female executive in an ad agency uses her two-week vacation to do some catching up on her 'homework'. It seems she has been allowing her career to take a back seat, and she wants to rectify that by putting her backfield in motion.
Full Movie - Champagne For Breakfast (1980) brought to you by Spankwire
The picture opens with Champagne's promotion to vice president in charge of merchandising. The boss's daughter (Bonnie Holliday) reminds her of the prerogatives of power: namely, that she can now use her position to get sex from ambitious young men. To illustrate her point, she grabs such a fellow by the dork and makes him dick her on the desk, in front of Champagne.
Ken Scudder, as the embarrassed applicant, or should I say, 'laplicunt' squirms a bit, but comes through. This actor could probably fuck in the middle of a freeway at rush hour. A hard conference table and a three-piece suit pose no
impediments to his lust.
Meanwhile, at the other end of the social scale, another applicant is seeking work. Harry, played well by John Leslie, is applying for the job of bouncer in a club managed by Kandi Barbour. He cites as a qualification the fact that he was North Atlantic boxing champ while in the navy.
A stripper named Fantasia (Dorothy LeMay) comes out on the stage in exotic costume, to work on her act. (Before the club opens? Not bloody likely!) Cherie, the manager, takes Harry to her room in back. The prerequisites of power are again displayed as Cherie auditions Harry for the job of bouncer by bouncing up and down on his thick dick.
Kandi is dandy in this scene, fucking fiercely and snarling like a saber-tooth tiger. The involvement of the actors in this encounter is patently genuine, and the audience is moved to match them pant for pant as they puff up the fire of desire.
In walks Fantasia, who is naturally curious about the wet sounds coming from the back room. Cherie invites her to join them for a three-way that would have been memorable, but Harry demure with disgust, taking the friendly pair for "a couple of lesbians," the more fool he.
Harry complains of 'blue balls' to his agent (Kay Parker). She suffers from the female equivalent: every day at three o'clock she gets uncontrollably horny. Parker does an hilarious riff here, running on like a beatnik poet about trucks and trees and other things that make her want to fuck with a frenzy - or with a man, if one is available.
Harry is available, and we are treated to our second desk-fuck of the film as Blue Balls meets Hungry Cunt on the agent's cluttered desk. She screws him with so much enthusiasm that everything is getting knocked off onto the floor. With gorgeous understatement, John Leslie says, "You're breaking things."
The agent has heard that Champagne has been interviewing guys for the job of chauffeur / bodyguard during her two-week fling, but that she has rejected everyone so far. Harry reasons that she must be looking for a homosexual so she won't have to deal with any advances other than those of salary. He decides to swish a bit to get the job.
John Leslie is an excellent actor, but he overplays the fag somewhat. Nonetheless, Champagne hires him, and his first assignment is to drive her to a singles club where she picks up a guy. Harry waits in the Rolls while Champagne goes to the guy's apartment to fuck him, and he keeps a security check on her with a walky-talky. Champagne is carrying one, too, in case she gets in trouble.
The only trouble comes after the fuck when the guy is in a hurry to get rid of her. Nobody could be as obnoxious and insensitive as this jerk, but Champagne is dry, wry, and tolerant. She even forgives him for playing Ravel's "Bolero" while he was fucking her. I'm not sure I do. Equally unforgivable and incredible were the guy's smoking jacket and his line, "Tonight the whole world is my cock, and it's yours!"
The next bar Champagne visits provides her with an unexpected pickup. In the ladies room, sultry Candida Royalle greets her with the remark, "I would love to eat the crotch of your panties." Taken with this smooth-talker, Champagne goes home with her, but when the lady nuzzles her muff, Champagne bubbles over with laughter. She explains, "I'm sorry - it's just that your face is so smooth." A great moment, and a very believable one.
Still seeking novelty, Champagne tries out a day laborer. He takes out his cock - which he calls 'Fred' and which he can barely glimpse over his beer belly - and makes her suck it. Then he upends her, pours beer up her end, and slurps it out of her pussy while she chokes on his dick and her laughter. This scene is funny and spontaneous, and the laughter is real, therefore infectious.
But the hardhat is a hardnose, and he hurts her. Harry comes to her rescue with a knockout punch that makes Champagne begin to suspect his gay act.
At her next massage, she has Harry rub near her hairy place. They talk about talking dirty.
"Did you ever say," inquires the rubee, "Take my hot load?" - "No," replies the rubber, "I have never said that."
Champagne goes to a male whorehouse and hires three guys to fuck her. La Bovee is the prima diva of porn, and these three guys can't keep up with her. She does her best, but they all seem in over their head, and when finally 'Buck' comes all over her, she laps it up with what seems like blessed relief. An inane cha-cha plays throughout this scene, so its ending was met with unanimous audience relief, as well.
Harry takes the Rolls to a car wash and gets a fast ride with a blonde in the back seat as they frolic through the froth. Three minutes later she wants to be paid for the sex. Harry doesn't even tip her.
That night Champagne comes to Harry in a negligee, carrying an enormous candelabra, with sixteen candles dripping hot wax onto her arm. She leads him upstairs for a surprise. She has leased 'Buck' for the night and makes a present of him to Harry. As soon as she's gone, Harry K.O.'s Buck with a North Atlantic right cross.
Harry inherits a chain of printing shops about this time, making him independently wealthy. Champagne is onto his dodge by now and fucks him good in a very hot scene, gobbling his cum in trademark Bovee style.
At the fadeout we can see that now the pauper has become a prince, and the way is cleared for a 'meaningful relationship' with the princess. Harry and Champagne go off together for a life of good sex and busy commerce, and it's nice to see a fuck film with a 'happily-ever-after' ending, (though the title song is the WORST.)
Production values throughout are highly professional, but the treatment of the sex scenes leaves something to be desired. Lighting and camera are unkind to flesh in some cases, and the cutting of the fuck footage is quick and disjointed, making it hard to stay hard. It's almost as though the filmmaker considered the sex scenes to be of secondary importance to the story and the laughs. If so, he's in the wrong business.
CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST has a piquant taste; but like the bubbly, it can leave you thirsting for more.
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