Vista Valley PTA (1981)

Sin In The Suburbs

Starring: Jessie St. James, Dorothy LeMay, Desiree West, Kay Parker, Juliet Anderson, Sharon Cane, John Leslie, Jamie Gillis, Dewey Alexander, Howie Gannon and Ham Easton

When you've seen as many fuck films as I have, you begin to realize it'll be a rare day before a producer is able to come up with a solid story line you haven't already seen.

Never before in adult films has a main plot been treated with such care and intelligence as it is in "VISTA VALLEY P.T.A." It is a sensual erotic wheel, spun by the talented writer-director Anthony Spinelli, who once again weaves his magic spell with a star-studded cast including Jessie St. James, John Leslie, Juliet Anderson, Jamie Gillis and a bevy of sensational newcomers.

All of the torrid sex scenes are terrific and hot. Ms. St. James proves to be the most talented, beautiful and sexy lady to hit the erotic screen since Georgina Spelvin.

Producer Bernardo Speinelli has created a highly successful and contemporary piece of filmmaking with "P.T.A." In the tradition of "PEYTON PLACE", Vista takes us into the depths of the heartlands, bedrooms and school days of suburban America. As the film opens, we meet Ms. Martin, (Jessie St. James) a newcomer in town, as she begins her job as the new special school administrator of Vista Valley High.



Stopping at a gas station for directions, she is informed by Davis, (John Leslie) that there have already been two rapes, and a teacher was beaten at the school. Unnerved, the sexy Ms. Martin boldly replies, "Don't worry about those kids, I'll handle them."

Meanwhile, in the school parking lot, Dorothy LeMay and Dewey Alexander are getting it on orally. Le May performs fellatio with her velvety, moist tongue and juicy lips savoring every last drop from Dewey's throbbing prick.

Centerfold Fever (1981)

"Catch the fever! Tiffany is terrific"! -Hustler

Watch of Download 'Centerfold Fever' in our Theater!

An intern at a New York adult magazine company seeks out the perfect model for the current front cover, both aided and hindered by her sleazy editor, and a sex-addicted photographer with the ironic name of 'The Maniac'

Sizzling Centerfold girls from Penthouse, OUI, Stag, High Society, and Genesis jump of the pages at you!

Watch beautiful Kandi Barbour measure porn stud Marc (Mr. 10 1/2) Steves' talents. Join Skin magazine editor R. Bolla and his raunchy photographer Ron Jeremy in their search for the perfect Centerfold girl. Come along with newcomer Tiffany Clark as she swings into a torrid twosome with boobiferous Lisa Be. Follow Luscious Samantha Fox - twice voted Best Erotic Actress - To a movie theater where the action in the audience is wilder than what's on screen.

You're invited to a sex magazine party where dominatrix Very Knotty shows the the ropes to a pretty slave, and Susaye London goes nutty over Sue Nero's knockers. In a fantastic finale, the incredible Annie Sprinkle shows four men what one woman can do. This steamy search for the perfect Centerfold girl guarantees your satisfaction.

Starring Tiffany Clark, Samantha Fox, Kandi Barbour, Annie Sprinkle, Sue Nero, Ron Jeremy

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Interview: Gerard Damiano, The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue

HUSTLER'S HIGHEST RATING!

Starring: Hillary Summers, Jean Damage, Maria Tortuga, Lee Carroll, Annie Sprinkle, Tiffany Clark, Coral Cie, Ted Devine, Bill McKean, Ron Hudd, Sharon Mitchell and Lysa Thatcher

Gerard "Deep Throat" Damiano has just finished another epic. This one is called The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue, and I'd like to tell you about it - or rather, I'd like him to tell you about it if you can wait for just a few paragraphs.

The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue is a really hot picture about sex in the 21st century and you'll be happy to hear that romance as well as sex survives, too. Alpha Blue is a space-age sexual resort where dreams are carried out with the push of a button. Want a playmate - or two, or three - or just a hot voice to talk you off? Just punch your fantasies into the teleporter, and your wishes come true. Don't you love it already? Some of the erotic cinema's loveliest ladies materialize out of thin air - Lysa Thatcher, Hillary Summers, Annie Sprinkle, Jody Maxwell, Tiffany Clark, Lee Carroll and Sharon Mitchell all "beam in" to satisfy future fantasies aided by  nearly a dozen other yummy gals.

Alpha Blue takes its sex seriously. The Satisfiers - the hosts and hostesses of this erotic resort - are carefully trained for love-making. Through Damiano's loving direction and exquisite close-up photography, you'll watch the Satisfiers practice their arts with enthusiasm rarely seen on screen. Even the credit sequences are wetter and wilder than most films' hottest scenes!



Now, for some inside dirt - I knew this flick was hot even before it hit the editing table. For one thing, our own sex life was FANTASTIC during the actual shooting. I mean, it's always fantastic, but those 12-hour shooting days take their toll. Not this time, though - I thought Damiano was having a second puberty! Then, there were all those new romances happening everywhere we looked.

Tiffany Clark flew in from her native Los Angeles for the film, and fell madly in love with one member of the production staff, Fred Lincoln. (Lincoln is a filmmaker in his own right - his Same Time, Every Year will be released soon.) Anyway, Tiffany never quite made it back to L.A., and she's now happily sewing curtains for their new apartment here in New York. Ain't love grand? Then there was Jody Maxwell, who fell in love with the whole crew - and them with her, of course. It's rumored that more than one technician lost his heart, too, when Jody performed "I Left My Heart In San Francisco", demonstrating why they call her The Singing Cocksucker from Kansas City. Last but not least, Annie Sprinkle rang up professional dominatrix Queen Adrena in California, and borrowed the Queen's personal slave, Mal O'Rey for the lovingest leather-and-golden-shower scene ever filmed. Annie and O'Rey became great and good friends thereafter.

With all this loving going on off the set, you just gotta know that things stayed hot on camera. The vibes were right, and the final product shows it, like nothing else you've ever seen. Damiano says The Satisfiers is the most erotic film ever made.

PAULA: What makes The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue different from your other works?

GERARD: I don't think it is different - but it's a culmination of all my other films. The Satisfiers is based on the premise of a future society in which sex is completely open and without guilt - and what would happen in that environment. so the film is really a blending of everything I've done before.

PAULA: What's your favorite scene in the film?

Deep Inside Annie Sprinkle (1981)

REMASTERED FROM THE 35mm NEGATIVE!

Watch the Re-Mastered "Deep Inside Annie Sprinkle" In Our Theater

Annie Sprinkle, the most sensational porn star of all time, exposes herself entirely in this hot movie. A must see and a must have movie!

Starring Annie Sprinkle, Lisa Be, Heather Young, Judy Bilodeau, Mal O'Ree, Lee Starr, Sassy, Barbara Miller, Sheisa Jones, Bunny Hatton, Ron Jeremy, Roger Ram, Jake Teague, Buddy Hatton, Ron Hudd, Marc Vanelntine, Mike Filene, Michael Gaunt

As a relatively young girl from Evergreen Avenue, Downhome, U.S.A., the shenanigans and gambols of the legendary Annie Sprinkle quite frankly blow me away. She is without a doubt the kinkiest girl in town, but she does it with such innocence, such artlessness, that you can't help but like her, no matter how wacky you might think her predilections are. Her openness and candor, together with her talent, make her, undeniably, the Queen of Kink.

Annie admits enjoying all of the most controversial sexual acts imaginable; if it's different, she has to try it at least once. "She is a dirty girl," the producer of "Inside Annie Sprinkle" told me. "She is absolutely wonderful to work with; she is bright, intelligent, and always on the go. After a long day of filming, I'd want to go home, read the paper, watch a little t.v.; Annie would be wanting to go checking out new kinds of dildos, restraints, taking cabs all over town looking for this stuff until I was ready to collapse." I would imagine that there are few people who could compete with Annie Sprinkle's energy level.

Interview: Desiree Cousteau

Desiree Cousteau is one of the best known beauties in the X-rated world. Her classic figure has devastated audiences nationwide since her debut in PRETTY PEACHES, on through her appearances in PIZZA GIRLS, DEEP RUB, and INSIDE DESIREE COUSTEAU. In all her films, Desiree projects a naive charm and a natural sexuality that have gotten her labeled the "Girl Next Door of Hardcore". a sort of Little Annie Fanny, perpetually falling prey to dirty young men and her own libido.

She's successfully parlayed her screen popularity into a hot strip act too and is one of the most accessible porn stars because of her willingness to travel to smaller burlesque houses around the US and Canada. It was during one of these engagements, at New York's Melody Burlesque that Desiree announced she was leaving films. Fans and industry alike mourn her loss and we thought we'd take this last opportunity to find out where she came from, before she's gone, and why she wants to leave all this.

CAV: How did you get into hardcore films?

DESIREE: I was a go-go girl. Then I met Alex deRenzy and he asked me if I'd like to be in a movie. That was PRETTY PEACHES, the first film I did. It was delightful and I loved every minute of it.

CAV: Were you always into sex?

DESIREE: Well, when i turned 17 all of a sudden one day I discovered sex. And that was it. I didn't do everything at one time, I kind of eased into it. But I did do all those things at a pretty tender age. I started making movies around 23.

CAV: On the whole, has making films been a good experience?

DESIREE: Oh yeah. I learned things about myself I'd never have learned otherwise.

CAV: Which film would you consider your best?

Peaches and Cream (1981)

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Wicked Sensations (1981)

WHEN THE ORDINARY IS NOT ENOUGH!

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Starring: Annette Haven, Mai Lin, Diana Holt, Holly McCall, Chris Cassidy, Sonya Sommers, Holly Page, Susannah French, Paul Thomas and John Leslie,

This is the picture for which John Leslie won his second Erotica Award as Best Actor in 1982. Wicked Sensations has been something of a sleeper, receiving less publicity than has Nothing To Hide, the Best Picture winner in which Leslie also starred. 'Wicked' was produced by Jerry Ross, producer of the original Talk Dirty To Me which won John his first Best Actor in '81.

John plays a successful writer and Annette Haven is his live-in girlfriend who's a bit on the unresponsive side so that he's driven to other women - not that he needs much driving. The horny and restless John likes to climb out onto his apartment balcony and watch his neighbor and friend Paul Thomas ball the assorted girls he brings home. Annette catches John watching Paul putting it to Mai Lin. She's horrified and insists he go to a shrink to find out what's wrong with him and get his terrible sexual compulsion relieved.

Paul recommends a doctor friend of his; when John goes to see the doctor he finds himself making love to one of his patients and is disillusioned. Why should he change his ways if the doc himself is a free-wheeling cocksman? While he's in the medical building John sees Diana Holt leaving and falls in love with her on sight. He follows her and learns she's going away on a skiing holiday in the mountains. When John goes home unrepentant his Annette throws him out. So John and Paul get together and take off for the mountain ski resort to search for Diana.




When they get to the resort, to their delight they find it full of single women of all shapes and sizes. Paul plunges right in and latches onto every woman who even gives him a second glance. He has some wild bed sessions with Holly McCall and Chris Cassidy, and John gets him out of a few scrapes with jealous lovers.

8 to 4 (1981)

 

"For those who like to get in early!"

"Luscious Loni Sanders and tantalizing Tigr give Jesse Adams a wonderous workout atop the copying machine that may never be duplicated... Veronica Hart and Annette Haven are simply incapable of a boring moment on screen." - Cheri Magazine

Porn has always made a practice of having porn parodies of successful movies and in this case it's 1980's "9 to 5" starring Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda.

The idea of three women who are under the thumb of a rough boss, was just too rife with possibility to NOT make a porn parody of it. There is a story here. This was still before the direct to video gynecology lessons began hitting the video shelves, people were still wanting a story with their sex. Standing out is the great Lisa DeLeeuw who is always luscious. Definitely a must-see for classic porn fans.

Luscious Loni Sanders, and tantalizing Tigr give Jesse Adams an awesome workout atop the copying machine that may never be duplicated...Veronica Hart and Annette Haven are simply incapable of a boring moment on screen.

Starring Annette Haven, Lisa Deleeuw, Veronica Hart, Lee Carol, Loni Sanders, Juliet "Aunt Peg" Anderson, Tigr

Pandora’s Mirror (1981)

Take An Incredible Look Into A Mirror Of Lust!

Starring Veronica Hart, Marlene Willoughby, Kandi Barbour, Annie Sprinkle, Tiffany Clark, Hillary Summers, Merle Michaels, Frederick Foster, Jamie Gillis, Sandra Hillman, George Payne, Jerry Butler, Marc Valentine, Dave Ruby, Lacey Smith, Mowena March, Robin Sane and Robin Sane

First off, be forewarned that you are reading the words of a broad who's never shelled out the bucks to see a porn movie. Yes, not even Deep Throat! Or Super Vixens, or even Stewardesses in 3-D, all of which went on to become the sensation of the burbs. Sure, I'd gone to live sex shows, swing soirees, S/M clubs, and I've viewed a few dirty loops, because I have a quirky affection for dissonance - the uglier and hornier the characters, the better I like it.

Not to worry! There were no skanks in the twitchy cast of Pandora's Mirror, although a few of the masculine extras came close to my ideal.

Pandora's Mirror is a dreamy, druggy, soft-shoe mystery, a cock-and-dagger tale which is lifted straight out of Twilight Zone, so everyone knows what the "trick" ending is going to be and can lay back in relief and jerk off. Everybody had told me that the plots of porno movies were atrocious. Maybe. But I think the suspense genre should be a great natural resource for this maligned industry. Can't you just see a sex version of Night of the Living Dead? Or The Thing, for that matter?




The story of Pandora's Mirror involves an antique mirror through which certain individuals can view the orgiastic excesses of its (the mirror's) owners in the centuries past. Pandora (Veronica Hart) wanders into an old junk shop in New York with her whiny, catty girlfriend Liz (Sandra Hillman). Pandora is inexplicably taken with the mirror, although the shop owner fusses and faddles with the charm of Mr. Whipple over the "danger" of gazing into it for too long. He knows there are a gaggle of slut ghosts hanging out in the mirror. Man, and with a name like Pandora famous for her box, of course they'll want her on their roster. Meanwhile Pandora looks into the mirror. Fade the lights! Put on the eerie music!

Bad Girls (1981)

An all-girl road trip: four comely, young gals travel through the Rocky Mountains disrupting everything in their path with their sexual antics. From teasing a poor scout who hitches the ride of his life to stiffening a lonely wood cutter's equipment, the vacationing vixens are just out for fun. Witnessing the women's promiscuous behavior, a horny scoutmaster brings their attention to a group of locals who take them hostage and aim to have their way with them. The girls match the 'bad boys' stroke for stroke and escape with the help of the local scout master (But not until after one of them seduces him).

Stars: Pia Snow Jasmine Du Bay Victoria Knoll Lenora Bruce Ron Jeremy Richard Pacheco

My Sister Seka [1981]

 

Starring Seka, Sarah Sheldon,Vicky Steele, Jennifer West, more

Amanda by Night (1981)

Amanda Heather is a high-class call girl trying to go straight. A last 'favor' for a former pimp/lover results in the death of one of Amanda's young prostitute friends and she is drawn into a spiral of brutality, corruption, violent sensuality, and ever-building tension as the murderer stalks her. Amanda's emotions are brought to the boiling point by the persistent, tormenting questions of Detective Ambrose Harte as he struggles to solve the murders and free Amanda from the treacherous web that is her 'working' life.

AMANDA BY NIGHT isn't just the finest sex thriller the adult industry ever spawned, but this one also happens to be one of my favorite porn films of all time, especiallybut not exclusively because I'm a huge fan of its star Veronica Hart. This great lady should seriously consider penning her autobiography someday. Considering she has experienced the adult film industry from every conceivable angle, it would make one hell of a read.

Back in her performing days she was porn's finest thespian bar none and this film is her high watermark. She's Amanda Heather, high-priced call girl, who finds herself in trouble following the death of colleague Beverley (Lisa DeLeeuw) at the hands of a client she inadvertently enraged. Since Amanda's the one who set up the 'date' in the first place, she may be next on the culprit's hit list. Weary cop Ambrose Hart (perfectly portrayed by the wonderful Robert Bolla, aka CANNIBAL FEROX's Robert Kerman) gets the unwanted assignment of protecting the prostitute. Once they get past their initial animosity, the two find themselves increasingly attracted towards one another. 



This film works on so many levels and is a terrific example of how good adult films often were during the Golden Age (roughly spanning the years 1975-1984). Sex scenes are tremendous, showcasing both animal passion (Hart with callous pimp Jamie Gillis) and romantic tenderness (her initiation of virginal Jon Martin) with equal aplomb, but it's also a cracking thriller (considerably better than anything you'll see on late night cable, trust me) and a compelling character study.

Blonde Ambition (1981)

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Feature: Little Oral Annie

Some readers of ClassicAdultVideo feel that talking about a new star rising in the porno industry, in terms of her vital statistics, makes for damn dull reading. Others insist on knowing just how much of a  handful the chick is. And what is she really like, off-screen? To all our readers of diversified tastes and curiosities, how do those words grab you?

Little Oral Annie stands (or lays) 5' 6". About 125 pounds. Naked and dry - except in her crotch. She is 22 years young. Really. But about 43 in her experience. she moves right along! Those boobs tape out at 40 D. Waist 24. Hips 34. And how those hips can move!

Her eyes are blue. Her hair is brown. Dry on top, moist below. She loves good music and good sex. Digs rhythm, blues and R & R. Her favorite musical aggregation is the Buddy Owen band. Annie was born on Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood - now lives on the beach in a neat house with doors that swing almost as freely as the action in her bedroom.

Does she indulge in sexual fantasies? Oh, yes. Does she! Dreams about taking a hard cock for 24 hours straight. Time-wise and penis-wise.

Think she could handle that much hard dick? Go to your neighborhood XXX theater and catch her on the screen in "Ultra Flesh" or "Sex Boat" or "Cannonball". True, the films don't run for 24 hours without stopping, but her screwing on-screen will convince you she could - even if the studs in her films poop out split seconds after the director signals, "Okay. Get off, and it's a wrap."



Her expressions of ecstasy when she gets her pussy pumped full of hot cum, followed by that air of resignation, that men are 'so damned weak', tells you this is one chick who really likes her cock! Under the heat of the XXX studio lights, or in that bedroom in her beach house.

Seven Seductions of Madame Lau (1981)

Remastered Edition!

A Sizzling Mixture of Fantasy and Erotica!

Starring Annette Haven and Kay Parker

Watch "Seven Seductions of Madame Lau" Now In Our Theater

Well, here it is, the second movie preview brought to you by yours truly, at your request. Let me tell you, when my first review hit the stands, the phone just about rang itself off the hook. Oh it was so exciting! So many of you wonderful, darling readers called up asking questions about me, like "was I still a kid?" Whatever it was, it is always fun to get a phone call! Then, there was a nice guy asking me all about my commitments. He was kinda confusing, though, so I put him on the phone with Joyce James, and she said that the man wanted to know when I was being committed. As usual, that woman is jealous of my talents, and is still trying to get me fired. But with all the wonderful responses to my last month's review, there was no choice but to rehire me, so tuffskis on you, Joyce.

Watch "Seven Seductions of Madame Lau" Now In Our Theater

Not that the last month has ben a bed of roses. J.W. Hardon was a little bit embarrassed by my article, especially the part about him wearing women's underwear. He's taking it very well, though, and I don't think the article has hurt our relationship. At least, I don't think it has; I haven't been able to ask him yet, since he keeps hanging up on me when I call and saying , "Drop dead, finkface." Of course, this is just part of J.W.'s great sense of humor, which is sooooo adorable. At least J.W.'s girlfriend didn't mind the article. She even called me up and thanked me for it. "Angel," she said,  "you unwittingly did me a great service; now I know what a treacherous, deceitful, corrupt bucket of festering fazool that J.W. is." Now, J.W's girlfriend is a college girl, if you know what I mean, so naturally I didn't know what those words meant, but I guess she was talking about how much better she understands J.W. now, which is really important if you're going to be somebody's girlfriend, for crying out loud. Oops, I mean, ex-girlfriend. For some reason, they don't seem to be going out together anymore. This is too bad, since they made such a nice couple.

Seka Discusses 'Inside Seka'

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Watch 'Inside Seka' Now On Demand

Anytime Anyplace (1981) Seka, Lee Caroll

Remastered!

Sex, suspense, and comedy all come together with Seka as Lynn, the not so dumb blonde, who joins Skinner and his buddy Chickie, two inept burglars, who are trying to make a living the only way they don't know how. It's the first sexy caper with pizazz.

From the pool halls and pawn shops to the exclusive estates they prowl, sex manages to rear its lovely head. Barely evading capture, they screw their way to success without a wasted moment. Skinner is trying to raise money to bail his buddy out of a jam while proving to his parole officer Tara Flynn how very "good" he is.

Ready, willing and able, Lynn would do anything to help Skinner - and usually does with zest.

She's so hot, in fact, she'll do it Any Time... Any Place!

Stars: Seka Lee Carol Billy Dee Kevin James Nicole Black

This Theatrical Trailer is rare and not the best quality. Actual Video Quality in Theater is Much Higher

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American Desire (1981)

Lasse Braun's American Desire is another in a string of successes for Caballero, the distributors of such mega hits as Ecstacy Girls, Coed Fever, and Centerspread Girls. You can always count on Caballero for the finest in adult entertainment.

Starring Veronica Hart, Mai Lin, Lysa Thatcher, Mistress Candice, Richard Bolla, George Payne

American Desire opens with a typical, bored, married couple, sitting around in their typical styrofoam house watching the boob tube. Richard Bolla (the husband) is determined to pu thte POW back in their sex life by getting laid by other people. His wifey (Veronica Hart) is not pleased by Richard's request, and her inhibitions prevent her from seeking outside fulfillment.

WATCH "AMERICAN DESIRE" NOW ON DEMAND

On a visit to her father's house, she meets hunky George Payne, a real estate agent whom she finds irresistible. But Ronnie cannot bring herself to drop on her knees and slurp on his love rod. She turns her back on her lustful feelings and exits, stage left. While timid Ronnie runs, Mail Lin and her father (Ronnie's father, that is - no kink here) slurp the night fantastic.

Bit it's out of the kettle and into the flame for our poor heroine, because at home, the hubby Richard is

The Dancers (1981)

"The Dancers" generates some of the most erotic heat ever displayed in an adult feature"

Watch 'The Dancers' In Our Theater


Starring: John Leslie as Jackie, Vanessa Del Rio, Anna Turner, Mai Lin, Kay Parker, Georgina Spelvin, Randy West, Richard Pacheco and Joey Silvera

Award winning porn stud John Leslie leads a traveling troupe of male exotic dancers who turn on female audiences with their strip antics and also find plenty of action off-stage. Minutes after they hit a new town, Jack is making it with the cocktail waitress Lin Wong and then with Maxie, the lusty operator of the strip joint.

Sebastian does a strip-tease act that drives women out of their minds. In the coffee shop, he gets acquainted with the eager waitress Frances who aspires to become a dancer herself. He's more than glad to help her with her career and they hop into bed to talk it over.

Jonathan, who has ambitions to become a serious actor, is a quiet type who lets it all bust out on the stage, and when he's in bed with the right woman. In this case, it's Catherine, an equally quiet woman who leads a sheltered life. She falls in love with Jonathan and even cooks breakfast for him.

Joey, who drives the women screaming and fancies himself as a real top stud, is lured home by Sherry, the town tramp, and they enjoy a strenuous all-day session. Her husband comes home and Joey departs in haste; hubby is used to such scenes.

Inside Seka (1981)

"The Marilyn Monroe of Porn" - High Society Magazine

Seka, the most gorgeous girl in porno today, has agreed to reveal and relive all her most exciting sexual experiences and fantasies in front of our camera.

The picture begins as Seka prepares to make love with her husband. During the act of love, she whispers her previous sexual encounters to her husband. Each time she begins to tell of one, we flashback into the actual happening. Each encounter reveals Seka as a sexual and exciting person giving us a close look into another part of her personality.

This beautifully produced film of this extraordinary gorgeous woman holds nothing back. All is revealed, and Seka gives us her all.

Billed as an expose of Seka's real sex life, this all-ahead-full sexual thriller would stretch the bounds of credulity if about anyone but Seka, the fiery platinum-blonde sex goddess. Co-starring her real-life boyfriend Ken as well as a laundry list of other blue-movie males, this is a nonstop joy ride through Seka's formidable libido, and features some of the wicked footage of her ever filmed. Most notably in her scenes with Ken, Seka seems completely at ease and truly into what she's doing. One actually imagines she's forgotten the presence of the camera and is having sex for sex's sake rather than to move the film along, a rarity for many porn divas.

This Theatrical Trailer is Sample Quality. Video Quality in Theater is Much Higher
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Stars: Seka Ashley Moore Ashley DuBois

“ALL THE SCENES IN THIS PICTURE ARE TRUE AND ACCURATE REPRESENTATIONS OF MY ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.” - SEKA